†††

Work hard, stay humble.

2012-02-25T22:40:00.001-08:00

Two days of work at the usual IT fair before I can take a proper break and rest. Loving these two days!

Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.

2012-02-20T07:39:00.001-08:00

Haven't got the time to update my blog. Oh lord. Two more papers to go, how draggy this is. My fundamentals of financial accounting and taxation! Can't wait to reunite with my usual girls and some big bang theory. Oh and usual work at IT fair again. 9 roses and new scent for my valentine's day. God bless. xx

Perfect size.

2012-01-28T00:19:00.000-08:00

(I did not cut my hair, they are behind lol)

Barely have time to blog. 2012 is hectic, filled with so much assignments, projects and presentations! My lunar new year was fine! This time round, I received many red packets! My braces broke and I can't wait for my dental appointment. Anyway, I heard from my lecturer that Ngee Ann Polytechnic Accountancy course is the second most popular course chosen in JAE! Welcome, my dear sugarpies!

Outfit of the day (lunar new year): Wildpixellights Red Dress, Topshop Nude Pumps, Gucci Handbag, Gucci Silver Watch, Bangles from Firelucklove?

Leave your questions in my formspring or follow me on twitter for more updates!

Start it new.

2012-01-05T10:06:00.001-08:00

Pull the trigger.

2011-12-19T05:17:00.001-08:00

Perfect is almost good enough.

2011-12-04T22:44:00.001-08:00

Really caught up with school work lately. Common tests are coming in a while. Managed to hang out with the usual girls the other time. Shall update when everything's over. Keep your questions coming.

When your pride is on the floor, I'll make you beg for more.

2011-10-30T00:53:00.000-07:00

Saturday was Oakham Market day for me! Finally got to visit it after so long! Two bags of goodies I've got. School days were pretty hectic, this semester time table was terrible. We used to end school at earlier timings. Will upload the photographs taken in school soon. xx

I am human too.

2011-10-16T07:43:00.002-07:00

Back from Bkk. Tomorrow is the start of a new semester again, time really flies. Will upload the rest of the photographs when I'm free. The size cannot be adjusted at all, damn photobucket (again). New pair of pumps from Topshop for a new start. And I'd to throw some of my babies (I mean clothes) from my wardrobe to make way for the new ones from BKK.

I crashed my iPhone screen so badly in BKK, I wanna cry when I think of it. Changed the screen in Sgp and got it back like it's brand new in just 30 minutes! I don't wanna change my phone at all. I know I'm such a boring person who don't get sick of the same things. Oh well xxx

Give time time.

2011-09-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

Fine...photobucket has been giving me tons of problem in uploading and sizing of my photographs. I wanted to blog so much! September was not good to me, it's the worst month of the year I guess. Working almost daily and it is an easy job I've changed to this time round. I'm already used to braces and my teeth is adjusting really fast, like drastic changes in just 2 months. That's so far the best thing that ever happened. Going back to my secondary school on this coming tuesday for prize-giving ceremony, not skipping it this time round. A camp coming up soon and off to my old home, bkk in october for around 5 days. Life isn't fair, but it is still good, xx.

In all these chaos, we found safety.

2011-09-04T03:52:00.000-07:00

That's for my month, August. My ohsofickle silver spikes creepers and modparade grey knit sweater came in time to surprise me. Garrett caramel popcorn was fairly good and in a rather big portion, there's still leftover at my house. Oh, I'm officially 18 years old for a week already. Hit Rebel for the first time after my end of semester examinations with my secondary school peeps. Worked at the Comex show 2011 again, terrible sore legs. I'm so glad it's over.

September, please be good to me.

Sleep is for the weak.

2011-08-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

Oh well, I doubt anyone would still be reading this site. It's just collecting dust anyway. My final examinations is approaching next week and the thing that sucks most is the fact that I have a exam a day before my birthday, dental appointment on my birthday and another exam on the day right after my birthday. My birthday celebrations can only take place after 26th evening. What a pathetic life here. Hasn't been taking photographs too. Will take some really awesome photos when I'm out after my exams and updating my selling post.

May God bless you, xxx.

I was fighting with my alarm clock.

2011-07-06T00:59:00.000-07:00

Because I want it more than you do.

Poor is the new black.

2011-07-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

If anything catches your eyes, leave me a mail. I need space for new clothes and shoes!

Let me set you on fire.

2011-06-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

Collages I made way back (at least months ago). That was before school started, that early in the year haha! Jogging with my cousin @ 4am later. One more day to my surgery and I'm trying to put on a few kilograms now so that if I can't eat after the surgery and loses weight, I'll be back to usual weight. School had been good for the first half of the semester, really. Just stressing up over money issues! I seriously can't control myself, I keep going online to shop. Adding on, I'm going to pay up for my braces soon. Damn. Gonna cool down with a shower and continue with my work. Sometimes I think I'm such a nerd, I love to stick to my work and hide at home like a cave-woman. Maybe this is what Virgos do.

✿ ☺♡☾ A$K ME QUESTIONS ✿ ☺♡☾✿

www.formspring.me/polkadotsbang

There are monsters who act like people and people who act like monsters.

2011-06-08T04:38:00.000-07:00

We’re all in the same game, just different levels.
Dealing with the same hell, just different devils.

I'm not anti-social, I just don't like most people.

2011-05-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

A request from someone in formspring. Well, since I still have a little time to spare, decided to make my camera and the old tripod do the job. I always love earth colours, especially the brown and nude. It may seems boring to people around me but well, I feel exceptionally good in them. My poly mates like my (really cheap) high-cut boots too. Leopard prints are beautiful, my leopard prints romper is still on its way! Got to get a blazer and beige cardigan from all-times favourite, Ashincans. It's just the third week of school and I'm already studying like as if it was one of those major leaving school examinations. Well... I guess this would always be the kind of life for me. All this gonna pay off. Wondering how I'm going to stay up for the next few hours, I'm allergic to coffee awww. Oh btw, my Alexander Wang Coco Duffle is finally in my hands! Will blog about it when I have time. xxx

How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the things on the inside.

2011-05-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

Aww, this is so bad. My bad for not updating my blog for around half a month. I was busy with my lessons and volleyball trainings for the starting week. Well, I would say that school isn't that delectable for me. I mean, I should have expected to see different types of people around. All the good friends I knew since the orientation days were mostly in different classes, it's pretty tough to get to meet them/ whatsoever. It's just plainly awkward, I'm no social animal. Tutor-ing G twice and studying like a mad cow (again)! I'd been wondering when will these shitz end. Oh btw, I'm going to be @ my favourite hangout to study again! Good luck for my scholarship interview on this coming friday. And yes, school gonna get better... Remember the rainbow after rain?

My thirst for you is never quenched.

2011-04-21T22:36:00.000-07:00

Hectic days, will update soon cuties! I owe someone a entry on Dr Chan products, didn't forget about it! So far so good for me! :> Bieber's concert was utterly awesome! My orientation camp too. Photographs already up on facebook!

I wish I was enough for someone.

2011-04-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

So much photographs to organize neatly! Will be back with a decent post soon sweethearts! If this means happiness.

Maybe you should eat makeup so you can try to be pretty on the inside.

2011-04-04T12:25:00.000-07:00

Sponsored advertorial.

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And I would recommend Thimble-Needles! Not only do they provide authentic Geo lens directly from Korea (Geo Medical Co Ltd), they provide really good service! I mean, who would pay and suffer from poor service from the shop owners!!! Oh yah, besides that, their website is so neat and accessible in different categories! (Eg: Makeups, mask, men's t-shirts, perfume and etc.)

Never to worry for loss of mails if you aim for registered mail like me! (I'm kiasu for online shopping, definitely not going to pay for lost mail lol.) Thimble-Needles will email customers your registered article number so that you can track your mail @track-trace.com/post

Ever since I wore these cosmetic lens, I do get people like my customers at work/ colleague asking me where did I get my pretty lens from! But well, I could not name them a certain website because I brought it from a friend way back! Now... I can recommend Thimble-Needles because they will be my official supplier for lens! Reliable site for my friends and I!

They not only carry Geo lens, but E.O.S lens too! So many to choose from! As for me, someone who's conservative and not that capable of changes, I only wear lenses from this series! (XCH Series, Super nudy) Or maybe Aurora, Hue.

The one I'm wearing all along is XCH-624! (Btw, I wanted the pink lens but no degree!!! I can't get them.) They are 14.8mm for 'bigger eye effect'! May be too big for first-timers, so you might want to try 14.0mm ones first! Never force yourself to wear those lenses if they are too uncomfortable.

FAQs: Why they are retailing at such affordable price? Thimble & Needles aims to provide you with satisfying yet affordable lens in the competitive market.

Are they really authentic? I'm really wary of online lenses because they can be fake and cause us serious eye infections!!! But Thimble & Needles get their lenses directly from Korea, Geo Medical Co. Ltd! You can be assured by checking the authenticity of the lenses at Anti-fake lenses system site.

Will they cause damage to our eyes? Be assured if you're following the proper care routine like cleaning of lenses with contact lenses solution and changing of lenses case!

Cool tee-shirts I've picked from their site too:

Guess you guys won't be afraid to bump with anyone with the same shirt as you!

Branded perfumes @ affordable prices!

The BB cream suitable for all skin types.

BB cream for men!

Skinfood mask.

Mac cosmetics! *screams

Skin79 Hydrating gel.

I know girls love this, cute and sweet-smelling lip gloss!

Eyeshadow template to enhance your eyes!

So many products, all at 1 site! What are you waiting for? Preorder for lens closes on every Friday! Do formspring me for enquires or go straight to:

Thimble-Needles Thimble-Needles Thimble-Needles

Quote my name *Augustina* and normal postage fees will be waived off!!! (Exclusively for my readers only!!!)

I wish you could hear all the words I'm afraid to say.

2011-04-02T04:17:00.000-07:00

Too busy for a proper update, will be back with an advertorial for cosmetic lens.

You're going to catch a cold from the ice inside your soul.

2011-03-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

Ask me anything.

You're so cautious in showing your true self to others.

2011-03-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for the tickets, I hope we'll enjoy ourselves. Oh and april is coming. Got to go for medical checkup with my dad and fill my wardrobe with new lingerie and nightwear.

I can't give you what you want from me so please don't be in love with me.

2011-03-26T10:40:00.000-07:00

Really hungry @ the hongkong cafe.

All-time favourite, Fresh milk with herbal jelly.

Those zits on my chin, such a nuisance.

Extra vegetables for sure.

Toast box with my cousin.

I'm so hungry @ this moment. Brother is going to get me fried meehoon when he's back! I'm feeling pretty apprehensive for the start of school. Really blessed that my primary school friend is in the same course as me and we are going to stick with each other through the beginning. Had been staying over @ sister's house for quite a while. It feels so good to be back at my own house again. Mommy just asked me out to shop tomorrow and I'm really gonna get beautiful clothes to go with my shoes, haha! I gonna pack my wardrobe too! Glad that I sold some of my stuffs away. Oh yeah, got to head back to consult Dr Chan again. The zits are growing at my chin area, omg.

Sometimes, you just can't give yourself away like this.

Sometimes people are beautiful, just in what they are.

2011-03-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

There's still beauty in the broken, it's just harder to find.

2011-03-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

It'd been a while since I last updated my blog. Going to have a surgery before my braces, pray hard everything will go smoothly. Can't wait to meet J and T! I called up T in the morning. Apparently, it was because of a dream I had last night about us quarrelling. She was laughing like it's that hilarious. Hongkong cafe with Acerboy before work and it just isn't that great. The noodles were too spicy and no refund for that... I ended up with an empty stomach and food poisoning? (I don't know why) Hit the sack immediately after a weird drink brewed by my mom. And the next thing was a call from Acerboy that he is under my block. He's probably nuts. I feel like going shopping alone today for my camera. Hell yeah, I'm going to Justin Bieber's concert!!! Oh my bieber. His movie too!

Your face is my the favourite face of all the faces.

2011-03-14T09:55:00.000-07:00

All I could say is that the 4 days work at the it fair this time is a killer! Utterly tired. How I wish I'm born to be filthy rich. Out with J the other time to town and some catch-up, love this girl as much. I guess she's pretty much my favourite shopping mate. I really need ample rest and my dental appointment is coming, finally. Continuing the 10-day challenge in my tumblr.

Let the rain wash away the pain of yesterday.

2011-03-07T09:15:00.000-08:00

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

@Grandma: I probably miss you too much. I'm dying to make time to visit you. How I wish you're just a room from me like the past. I hope you're living well there and in the pink of your health. I love you, I so wanna sing teochew songs for you. Do you still remember them? Do you remember how we used to be?

@Daddy: Thank you for working so hard. I don't know when can I make you enjoy life and retire. But I know the time will come soon, I promise. The last hope will be worthwhile. I'll try to speak up to you. I'll try to talk, I mean it. I'm gratified to be your daughter, to be part of this family.

@Sister: I still remember the fight last week and I'm so glad it's all over. Thank you for your generosity. Thank you for being such an awesome sister and the delectable meals we ever had. Thank you for being a part of my life. I'm not going to say I love you because I get sick of it! Okay, I meant I said that in the letter already. Come on. See you soon, sister.

@Brother: Thank you for being the best of all. You probably takes really good care of me for the entire seventeen years. Roosters rockz! That's not the main point. Ohyeah, your birthday is coming! Hope we will all have a great time. I love you! Stop glazing at me, you know you can't see my blog post! So better concentrate on your dota game.

@Lesbian: You kind of rocks at times. You're really hilarious at times. Thank you for sticking around with me in the final year in our secondary school. I could recall times when we shared magazines, talked like some bimbos, mugged like crazy, cried like there's no tomorrow and suppers manz. Curry puffs remind me of you leh, honoured? I hope you won't put me in the back of your mind after you become some design chicks. Wednesday manzzzz!

@Ahyin: Hi! Thank you for everything! I feel awkward typing this. I miss you like mad, where did you go again? Virgos love to hide, don't we? I love how we used to feel apprehensive over upcoming papers and grousing in our fav hangout, mac! You're the best study mate ever. Let's go study soon. I want Starbucks, baby. I kind of miss your mommy too, haha! SEE YOU TOMORROW MAN.

@Jieling: Hi babe. I know you reads my blog. Here you go, it was such a miracle to meet you at a fan's meeting and becoming real close friends with you. Oh our (mine mine!)Lee Min Ho! You're one of the best friends one can ever have, mean it. See you tomorrow. *Chu*

@Stella: One of the oldest friends I keep!!! Yes you baby. Hope you like the dreamcatcher and it's having some effect! Gonna work with you soon, wow. Thank you for being with me through thick and thin. I want late night movies and stayovers at your house soon. AHHH. See you on thursday morning! Let's earn big bucks manz! Oh, I miss Crystal too. Threesome if you still remember.

@Shifu: How can I miss out you handsome boy? You're probably sleeping like a log @ this hour. You're definitely one of the best gifts from God! So many years of friendship and counting. I wanna watch you roar into the sky. Thank you for your high level of tolerance to my endless doubts and questions! BEST BROTHER I MUST SAY!!! Supper, jogging, shopping, playing, everlasting joy, definitely with you. You know you love me, xoxo lavigney. I miss you, Parky.

@Acerboy: I know you're waiting to see your name. I know you can't wait! Your eyes aren't lying, hi my pretty boy. I'm sorry for the eye lotion! I hope your eye gets well before we meet, I don't want my heart to ache upon your sore eye! Thank you for being such an eye candy which made us a couple in the end. As you know, I get sick of stuffs easily at times. I really hope I don't have to fall in love again! So we better last and no, not get married. I already planned to be a happy spinster. No kids okie. Ah, back to main point. Hope you're as happy as you can be to be my boyfriend. Bear with me, will be more expressive soon! Btw, I can't get enough of you, *chu*

I feel blissful, what about you?

I wish I was someone's idea of perfect.

2011-03-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

Ten days challenge.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

And tonight I'll stay home and miss you more than you'll ever know.

2011-03-06T07:24:00.000-08:00

That marks a one-week post with so many photographs! I hope it doesn't cause your computer to lag/ hang. Oh btw, I'm back @ my own house after a week of stayover @ sister's place. As mentioned in previous post, after my concert, Acerboy brought me for dinner (or should I say supper) then a midnight movie, what women want. Preparing the documents for enrolment into np and I feel kind of stressed up!!! So many details, lucky Acerboy guided me along just now. Oh yeah, I finally met up @lesbian for dinner at my favourite Lai Lai noodle stall. We gonna meet for airbrush tattoo before our class bbq. Got to work all the way till school reopens for my remaining funds for braces! My eye finally recovered and I promised myself to reduce my frequent use of lenses! I realised I knew not even a single thing about laptops! Kind of blessed to have my boy to go purchase the laptop with me next week because he knows everything, lol. I MISS MY BROTHER SO MUCH BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO BUY ME SUPPER AND HE IS STILL NOT BACK YET!!!

Sometimes, you can't be too greedy. There are too much things you yearns for and it's getting overboard. Look at what you've already got or else you never have enough. I wish so much to feel enough and fulfilled.

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever feel, like you're less than perfect.

2011-02-26T00:31:00.000-08:00

3 more hours to see my Lin Feng. 3 more hours to joy!!! Gym with @lesbian right after I recovered and I feel like my abs are out. Fine, I'm just kidding. She stayed at my house with my laptop for some bestfriend time while I fell asleep with my Alien. I swear that I feel like slapping her so much while I was about to fall asleep man. Moments when I was going to drop dead, she played 'Like a G6' so loudly! Since she was the guest at my house, I kept mute and slept. Acerboy's going to fetch me for movie after my concert later. Gonna take many pictures with bro's lumix later at the concert!!!
Oh yeah, gonna hunt for new job with @jieling soon! I'm so bloody sick of being in the sales line. Utterly sick of speaking up, facing different people.
My stomach is growling, I so wanna eat!!! Gossip girl is awesome anyway. Xoxo, Augustina Park.

Sometimes I don’t feel very social and I just go to sleep.

2011-02-20T06:15:00.000-08:00

I hate it so much when I'm sick. I really have no idea why am I falling sick every now and then this year. I detest the fact that my body fails me, making me so weak. I can't munch on my favourite chicken wings but to take porridge for all my meals. What's worse is having a poor appetite, losing weight!!! You know you can't always be a burden and have people to worry about you every now and then. I feel so shitty inside. I must get well real soon!!! ☹

You're the only thing that makes sense.

2011-02-19T17:35:00.000-08:00

I'm currently blogging with swollen eyes. I feel so gloomy to be so sick these days. I just got my eyes infected and insisted on wearing lenses still. And yes, now I've red pluffy eyes. The worst part is I've to wear spectacles out (totally cannot be done!). I'm also down with fever, cold and inflammed throat. (Oh crap)
I had the most dramatic valentine's day ever this year. It's actually my first time spending this day together with someone and it just feels like any typical date. Thank you for the roses, Acerboy.

No boyfriend just tumblr.

2011-02-13T08:07:00.000-08:00

I had a fulfilling shopping trip with my parents today, happy us. Happy Valentine's day ♡.

We are the lovers; we are the last of our kind.

2011-02-10T06:04:00.000-08:00

In a good mood for today, at least today, so I shall do a wordy post for my readers (if there is any). Basically, I haven't been working for a week as it was Lunar chinese new year. But well, I feel pretty organised this time round. Finally got my organiser's inserts for 2011 to fill my Hello kitty organiser and of course, something really freaking important, my dental consultation!!! AND MY LIN FENG DESIRE TOUR CONCERT TIC!

The start of this week, I met up F to look for some effective/ affordable facial treatment but we ended up making a fruitless trip. The stupid reason is because we only met up in the night when all the beauty salons are closing. To be frank, I detest so much of the non-working days. I feel like I'm wasting my days and life off. Getting drunk with my sister @ home during the new year was even worse. I just hate alcohol.

On one of our dates, I brought Acerboy to look at my favourite Alien plushies!!! And yes, I kind of asked the shopkeeper to shift the plushie and he placed its head out which apparently let us got that smaller version one. He was even kind enough to place it back and gave us this deal: to catch it for the second time and change for the larger alien plushie. Yes, we got it and he gave the same deal again. But I wasn't that greedy as I find that catching such toys from the machine is way too tedious, to have those heart attacks repeatedly.

The following day (if I'm not wrong), I went to settle some work stuffs with my favourite colleague, Y. In short, we got to catch up and I caught a hello kitty plushie for her and two for myself. A piece of good news to make my day again, we are working together for next week's roadshow again! That was also the day I brought the concert tic and I only brought mine. Acerboy and I had a fight and I apparently just brought mine. So, I'm going for the concert alone. Can you believe it? I can't.

Yesterday was a day with my dear girl, S and did some shopping. Wanted to get her a purple dreamcatcher to wish her all the best for her future but she knew it on the spot. So S got me a pink one in return.

As for today, I went for my consultation and did a mould for my (ugly) teeth. The very-patient dentist did some talking and planning for me. I feel great! I finally get to fix this flaw. Probably going to an X-ray soon and another more detailed consultation. I could recall, that day when Granny called and told me how disgusting it was when her dentist did a mould for her. I WANNA SHARE WITH HER MY EXPERIENCE MAN! We have the same reaction, wanting so much to puke to have that big metal plate and greenish mixture in our mouths. I even asked the dentist why it wasn't a pink mixture, I like strawberry more than mint.

Going to work tmrwwwwwww and I'm meeting @lesbian to go to work together. Acerboy's chalet on saturday, too bad I have work and I promised my boss earlier. How sad that I can only go for a day. Valentine's day on monday and I'm going breakfast with my lovely Daddy. Gonna work all the way w/o much leave as it's just a waste of time to stay home and I'm still not done with the savings for my braces. I need a replacement for my Lc bag too, & P wallet! I need more of those fruitful days.

Hitting the sack soon!!! Was blogging at a much earlier hour but Acerboy came to look for me so I had to pause.

We aren't exactly like lovebirds, we are just comfortable to be in the ugliest looks and outfits we could ever get, talking about basically any topics, enjoying each other's presence. That's enough, at least for me.

Sometimes it seems safer to hold it all in, where the only person who can judge is yourself.

2011-02-05T06:38:00.000-08:00

Fine, don't laugh at me people. I'm going!!!! Going for this concert!!!! Oh my 林峰! Had been waiting for months! See you on 26th okie! Chu!

The diary wasn't always right.

2011-02-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

Easy come, easy go.

This one is for all the heavy hearts.

2011-01-31T10:59:00.000-08:00

You're far too lovely to be so lonely.

You already lost the moon while you were counting the stars.

2011-01-28T08:22:00.000-08:00

Lovely nephew and niece I have uh. Finally taking a break tmrw after 5 full days of work @ the roadshow. It's all worthwhile because my sales is good! Yep, I'm promoting Nikon cameras as usual. Had fun playing with the nikon dslr and cameras of other brands. Furthermore, I get to listen to the covers of different songs like Hold my hand by Jason Chen and Joseph Vincent! Favourite for me. Really cool and nice colleagues I have too.
Birthday party @ bf's house tmrw. I hope that there won't be any awkward moment and we will get to enjoy ourselves. Gonna start learning about accounting next week, sister will coach me or perhaps studying alone @ mac like those old days. So peaceful and carefree. Good days ahead, you too.

I wonder if the things that remind me of you, remind you of me.

2011-01-23T07:09:00.000-08:00

Okie I'm oh-so-excited for work tmrw! Will be working with the usual ones like how we did for prev month, reunion or what! One more piece of good news is that my nephew and niece will be staying for lunar chinese new year. I guess it won't be a dull one this year. Btw I just got my hair dyed in a salon for the first time of my whole entire life! (I normally dye my hair by myself/with the help of mommy) It was pretty steep that my heart hurts a little even for now. Contented that I received compliments. Adding on, my permed hair have been with me for more than a year! I really have no idea what should I do when the permed hair is gone? (oh man)
I got to wake up early to set up for my camera booth @ the roadshow!!! But... I just received a call from my lesbian to meet up for curry puffs. Guess she's pretty stressed up with her job. Counsellor Park gonna help her. Goodbye!

You sit there in your heartache waiting on some beautiful boys.

2011-01-18T05:03:00.000-08:00

Aww, boring January I have here, what about you?

And maybe it’s true, I’m falling for you.

2011-01-15T07:46:00.000-08:00

Hi beautiful people. It'd been ages since I last gave my site a proper wordy update. Pretty much in a dilemma previously for some plans for my future. I'm more than glad that the choice-making part is finally over. And yes, I'm going back to work again (long-term this time) for the remaining months of the holidays.
Hasn't been praying much to God lately, feel so guilty. Why do we always pray only when we need something!?

If you can't put your heart into it, then take your whole self out of it.

We're restless but we're weary. We're worn but we're new.

2011-01-12T09:44:00.000-08:00

You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy, somebody who won't complicate your life, somebody who won't hurt you.

I could feel you under my skin, in my bones.

2011-01-05T09:39:00.000-08:00

I found someone who makes me feel asdfghjke. Have you yet?

Made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

2010-12-30T08:26:00.000-08:00

So many things yet so little time. I'd been working non-stop these days, only able to squeeze some time out during lunch time/ dinner time, catching up after work ends and having a hard time to wake up on time every morning man. Countdown with the usual tomorrow night after work ends.

I'm seriously not ready for 2011 yet, how about you? Oh yeah, new year resolution too.

We are all crooked souls trying to stay up straight.

2010-12-23T08:18:00.000-08:00

Cat, the one I'm fond of in my neighbourhood.

So we try really hard to hold on tight to whatever we think we’re losing and sometimes, we hold on a little too hard and it doesn't seem to make any sense to anyone of us.

Remember when you were my boat and I was your sea.

2010-12-14T07:58:00.000-08:00

"When I lose myself, I think of you."

I'm thinking of investing in a good camera, perhaps some semi-pro cameras for beautiful photographs. Oh well, I skipped a day of work on last sunday to make time for my two cuties (Justin and Stacey) and the ladies of course. Hours of chat at Zahidah's house with Fatin. For the following day, I gave my afternoon to the girl above, J and we utterly indulged in the catching up session huh. In the night, we parted as she went for her family dinner (Sunday's a family day) while I met S for sushi at somewhere near town. I'm a crazy Chawanmushi fan okay, I ate 4 bowls of that. Fine, as a whole, I think we should really eat more, so much more. That wasn't the end. Slept over @ her house and watched horror movie too. Breakfast @ my mommy's workplace while S left for work and I headed home for moreeeeee sleep.

Today kind of suck or basically every working day sucks. Pure enjoyment as the two came for lunch with me and B, my primary school bestie randomly requested to take photograph with me (as though it's the end of the world or whatsoever shit) which made me giggled like mad.
I don't want a job, I just want money! We shall see how it goes for the next few days and decide whether I should continue working or not.

Oh my beauty sleep. Oh money. Oh happiness. Oh christmas. Oh 2011.

When it's over, it is over.

2010-12-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

Oh my bieber. He is Justin, my nephew! Pure coincidence.

Appreciated, the two!

I got bored of iphone covers. Perhaps the plain one will do.

Yet to finish this jar of Sticky from Stella.

Catch up with the two.

Starbucks with @ahyin.

Tomorrow is my father's birthday and he'll be in his fifties. But he's still working madly like a cow. When I was having my shower, thoughts of this post kept filling my mind. And yes, I recalled a post which I wrote on 5th April this year in my private blog.

"Looking at my father this late afternoon, I noticed layers of eyebags under his sore eyes which meant merciless hours of work he gone through. His sore and lifeless pair of eyes told me that he definitely did not have enough sleep for uncountable days/ weeks/ months. His freshly tanned skin made me realise and see the many hours he beared, endured and got scorched under the relentless and callous sun. His muttering and anticipating facial expression told me how much he yearned to catch up with me. When he said about his pay day, his pitch was so much higher that indicated how much it mattered to him all the time, almost like the ultimate goal of his life. His toothless grin could somehow warm my cold heart. Nods and constant attention are the best returns I could give, to make his dull and tedious prime years more worthwhile. I just could not control my tear ducts when I started to assemble what I saw in him as a whole.
I seriously want to be a better daughter. But I never had a chance to tell anybody this. "

(Okay, can't believe I wrote that months back.) Happy birthday, Appa and please enjoy this special day. Have ample rest and be in the pink of health for the rest of your life. My beloved father, I love you, always. I love you more than Justin bieber, Lee Min Ho, T.O.P, all other male idols and boys okay. And probably my future husband too! So don't worry, Daddy. I know you probably won't get to see this because you don't know how to surf the net but only know how to watch Kungfu movies (the action type which I dislike the most) on the computer, haha. Still, I hope you can feel my love and blessings. I'm sorry for not expressing my gratitude and love well enough.

I'm not perfect but my blog is.

2010-11-29T22:38:00.000-08:00

The day when we went out to look for prom dresses.

I did my own nails.

New blusher, I really love the design of it.

Told you I don't like heels.

One of my accessories that night. (I mean prom night)

Was picking up some skills for apply eyeshadow and this really helped.

Alien.

Oh no, I didn't buy this pair of heels. 4-inches my dear.

I was out with Fatin to celebrate her birthday @ the beach. No worries, I was under the umbrella and no sunlight could reach me!

We've been through 4 full days of shitz together. Alright, initially I didn't know that I was
working with the whole group of guys as I did not bother to check the details of the job. And yes, it totally astounded me to see no females with me for the training day. (I don't have any issue with gender differences) But well, it was really fun for the whole 4 days though we were all worn-out and their omg-its-so-pervertic jokes. Had a hard time speaking on the 4th day when my throat was totally dry and I sounded like a guy.

I still have photographs to upload, soon. December, please be good to me.

I am awkward and shy.

2010-11-22T00:24:00.001-08:00

When people ask me what I see in you, I simply reply saying “everything you don’t.”

In future, my kids gonna be as hip as them.
So let's go have a baby now. (Just a joke) These two cuties are coming to Singapore this month, which is like a week's time! I wasn't really a patient entertainer and crown for kids until their presence in our family. I never even know what was Ben 10 until my nephew, Justin started to switch on the tv and show me. I hope my work dates won't clash with their arrival, I wanna babysit them and hopefully, bring them out and let them have fun.

Just a sum-up for this week:

Choosing a new hair colour, perhaps gonna dye myself? Help, anyone?
I wanna catch up with Ahyin @ Starbucks soon.
Got to upload prom night photographs, like omg so much.
Got to upload photographs for the picnic Fatin and I had for her birthday few days back.
Will be working @ the It fair from 25th to 28th.
Gonna stay at my sister's place to motivate(nag) her to study, can't believe she is like so much older yet I'm like the older one.
Fatin's friend pierced my navel for me and halfway through, I actually puked. I think the sight of the needle made me feel so.... I'm glad it's over.

So pardon me when I burn.

2010-11-19T02:23:00.000-08:00

Mrs Pan is the best teacher ever. If it was not for her, I think I might be able to endure through all these shitz. If it was not for her phone call, I wouldn't fight through this battle. The moment I approached her @ the prom, she gave me a big hug! (in front of the teachers somemore, made me so shy!!!) We gossiped and had a heart-to-heart talk outside the ballroom and I swear her words act like magic, utterly wonderful.

The best two.

Here you go, some photographs taken for my prom night yesterday. There are approximately 100+/- photographs for the night. Shall upload all here and in facebook when I'm free.

Really hate to be present for such event and get so sentimental. I wish I had no heart, no feelings for anyone. I almost cried in front of the people sitting near me and rushed to the toilet to hide. I wanna learn to control my emotions especially my tears.

2010-11-17T07:30:00.000-08:00

You can't photoshop your ugly personality.

We used to be each other's favourite.

2010-11-16T03:46:00.000-08:00

今天我真的很累, 请不要烦我. 再见

Just a bag of bones.

2010-11-14T22:37:00.000-08:00

Preparing for prom. A long list, save me manz.

Chanel Nº 16.

2010-11-14T05:19:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, I don't know how to look pretty with the eyebag/ wrinkle-free mask on.

Destroy what destroys you.

2010-11-12T09:12:00.000-08:00

Please vote for my Bieber on People's Choice!

1. You see rainbow? It's in my stomach now. Snack made by Gaya when we were @ her house for deepavali.
2. Crazy fries obsession on one of those study trips.
3. Ring collection. Oh yeah.
4. @lesbian. Out for Paranormal Activity 2 and apparently it wasn't scary! I still managed to get home. *Wink
5. @Ahyin. She's my favourite, always.
6. We need new shoes.
7. I don't like Iphone's camera, really.

I actually did some editting for some of the photographs because the original quality really suck. Probably going to start working after a little bit of resting this holiday? Well, I guess it gonna be dull and boring huh. Got to save up for braces (like finally) and pay for it myself. You are right, all by myself since it's a huge sum and I doubt nobody wants to aid me! (how pathetic) And I think I need a camera too.
I want a change. Maybe not just a change, maybe alot. I want a new hair colour, a new hairdo and perhaps chopping off the damaged hair of mine, lower part. I want to buy new clothes, fill my house with pretty shoes. I want too much things for now I think.

And, I wanna fall in love with you again.

I buried the words and let them hurt me instead.

2010-11-11T04:57:00.000-08:00

"You are still terribly afraid to be hurt; your imaginary sadism shows that. So afraid to be hurt that you want to take the lead and hurt first."

1, 2, 3: Some photographs taken by webcam.
4: With my real-blood sister and favourite grandma ♡
5, 6, 7: Deepavali celebration @Gaya's house.

I'm invisible.

2010-10-08T01:55:00.000-07:00

"It's dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing."
Deprived of sleep. But guess I'll give my pathetic 30mins nap a miss. Grandma is waiting for me to go visit her now!
♡♡♡

Last chapter for September.

2010-09-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

This pretty chick is Kaya Scodelario and I'm kind of in love with her.

(1) Obviously changed my skin.
(2) Omfg, I caught 11.11 on my laptop.
(3) 30 days countdown.
(4) Managed to shorten my afternoon nap, it's only an hour now. (Bloody hell)
(5) Bury in those books and notes daily.
(6) The end is near.
(7) I'll be happy soon.
(8) I want to visit Granny.
(9) I think I love Justin Bieber like a lot. His songs too.
(10) My current favorite song is Just A Dream by Nelly.
(11) I won't be in touch with the internet from now on.

They don't see you like I do.

2010-09-13T04:58:00.000-07:00

I hope I can make you happy soon.

When all else fails, I wish you well.

2010-09-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

Current favourite. Doubt anyone would come to this space? Probably hanging out @ tumblr already. May this week be a productive one and I'm going to visit Granny! C:

(Click on the advertisements okay!)

// True love is a big deal.

2010-08-30T00:55:00.000-07:00

The end is near.

Au fait with.

2010-08-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

S.H.A.M.E on me.

\\ Take a tour through my soul.

2010-08-14T04:32:00.000-07:00

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. That's alright because I like the way it hurts.

Take away those nightmares please. Deprived of good sleep.

Faith. Assurance. Hope. Aloha.

\\ I will free us.

2010-07-31T10:42:00.000-07:00

Oh hi, it's my month.

That's not my bed, I'm a neat freak! Definitely not so messy.

We just got a pair of engagement(lesbian) rings and I lost it in 5 hours' time? Damn it. Btw, we brought it at a flea market and it's really affordable! You'll guess the price.

Now, the overdues.

This is worse, months back.

I'm hitting seventeen 17 within 24 days. I'm so not looking for it. Probably some simple celebrations as Gce O levels English Oral Examination is on my birthday. Or maybe I should be like others, throwing birthday aside. I wish I can stay at sixteen for my whole entire life you know. Oh man.

And, I won't update any sooner than 2 weeks or later? Perhaps I'm closing down this site? Let's see how it goes. One thing for sure that I won't be logging into some sites like how I used to. We need all the time for something else.

See you in the battlefield, combative whores and distorted monsters.

\\ The lengths we went.

2010-07-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

Unusual and tragic and alive. All at once. I need to breathe, I need to think, I need to leave. Hanging out at tumblr makes my life better. This routine is killing me from inside out. Hold my hand and we'll go somewhere new, somewhere that we can see no thunderstorms anymore. I swear I'll burn this place down before we leave.

Words wouldn't be enough. Maybe feelings are just suitable to describe how it is all like.

I swear I'm nuts.

2010-07-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park
Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park

Yes, Park.

// Start self-deceiving.

2010-07-20T02:02:00.000-07:00

This time is pretty fast right. Uploaded only the I-looked-fine ones, I think 80% of the photographs are gross. Fats, come back to your owner. Curves, I'm looking for you. Weight, Mommy love you. I wish you all would be back soon. I wish someone would cast a spell on me to make me eat 5 meals a day.

And, I don't even feel like blogging anything personal in here. It's true that everyone have 3 lives; Public life, Private life and Secret life. Agree?

We are in ruins.

2010-07-18T10:07:00.001-07:00

Happy me, hugging and cuddling the oh-so-cheap Alien Plush toy! It's $10 only man. Don't say I'm cheap skate, it's originally $16.90 at 7-11 store? I brought it in Takashimaya! Initially wanted to get a tote bag from Long Champ? Things have changed, I've my own budget now........ Brought an Armani Exchange basic tee and a big shoulder bag that looks really nice. It's the only one that caught my eyes after so many different shopping malls. Something is very wrong with my taste I swear. I'm left with extra cash and I'm so gonna spend it on.... FOOD. I WILL EAT AND GAIN AS MUCH WEIGHT ASAP.

Sometimes, I do wish that I can be easily-contented as the past. Life was so much happier and easier back then. Well, I'd grown up and changed too much. Looking back makes me sigh so much awwww. Why the hell are all the girls going for branded goods? I know I'm one of which. But I must say that that $10 Alien Plush toy made my day. I brought it for myself and I know that's real pathetic. But it sums up my whole week, making the week a meaningful one? And, I done lots of catch up with Stella, one of the closest ones. I really love being myself in front of the few. The way I joke, the way I open up to the world, the way I laugh out like some insane bitch, I mean, I at least enjoyed myself.

Oh well, I need a sleep, perhaps with a sweet dream. Just 1, I'm not greedy. So looking forward for some productive study session the next 2 days. And a long break from the net, from the outside world. I think we should all treasure the time we have on our own, like minutes before you sleep. The tranquility is indeed indescribable. You know...?

Thank you for reading this so bloody wordy post. (Ugly me) photographs is still with her, soon I will blog them up.

// I'll kill you without a sound.

2010-07-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

Girls should just behave like girls. Oh no, I don't mean being gentle or so. I mean, we should all stay put and wait for guys to come after us. We shouldn't be like a fool to do everything for them, to touch their hearts, to wait like a fool. Ask yourself, if you are a girl yourself, have you ever stare at your mobile phone for a moment and wish that a particular guy texts/ calls you? And, in the end, you did not get any text, any missed call, anything. Guys are just capable for giving tons of fake hopes. I don't mean to insult the other gender, I mean those who are flirting around like jerks or perhaps some indecisive ones. Maybe what Zahidah said is right. Guys at our age are just playing, dating around, not ready to commit although they promise their girls verbally. Poor girls will be throwing in everything and getting their hearts broken. Over means over for guys and broken means broken for girls. We don't get over things in a day/ a week/ a month like you heartless people. We remember every single conversations we had with you guys, every little pinky promise you guys ever made, every plan we once discussed about, every single detail of the bloody relationship. And yes, we definitely cling on much longer than you all do. We don't let go of things we once fought so hard for, we don't smash hearts like as if they are ours/ hearts are cheap and we do a lot of thinking before we make a grave decision. Maybe it's because I've seen too much dramas and happenings near me, or maybe on me myself, I think girls should stand for their own rights. Make your stance. Make up your mind. I don't like that kind of wishy-washy attitude. Don't leave misunderstandings as they are, don't leave unspoken words aside, don't dump love as if they are worthless. How many love ones do you have in your entire life excluding your family members and true friends? Don't turn me off with the answer that you love anyone that loves you back. Treasure as you promised, cherish if you can, love as much as you want because... you will never know when will everything be over. I bet you wouldn't want to break down and cry over spilled milk when your love one is gone. Live life with no regrets, we only live for once. Don't tell me you're leaving dreams and plans to your bloody next life, that's all crap and senseless thoughts. Don't say things like the grass is greener on the other side/ there are much more fishes in the sea for you. I know, we are all young, this is most probably not the last relationship, in fact we can have more. But please, I'm sure you will change the mindset slightly when you hit the right one, when you fall in love. And, I mean love, not puppy love or crazy crush like going gaga over a handsome senior. Oh crap. One more thing, don't expect the other party to know what the hell you are thinking and leave those words unspoken or kept in your heart. It's fine to have privacy, to give each other space and to save some room in your heart for other stuffs. But wait, not everyone have telepathy as though it's something so easy to be attained. Girls can get tired to scanning your scattered minds, we are not a scanner or whatsoever. "Perhaps she will know without me saying. I think she's pretty smart in reading my mind." This is total stupidness, trust me, in the end when she doesn't get the message you are signalling, you will regret and whine.

Fine, perhaps it's time of the month for girls that I'm feeling utterly tiresome about life, about love, about stopping by. I need a shower, or maybe I should try cold shower to feel refreshed, to restart my body.

If I have a chance, I might have make things right for us.

// Closed-minded existence.

2010-07-15T03:17:00.000-07:00

As mentioned previously, I'm posting up photographs taken on the movie trip with my lady, Vyennus. There are soooooo many of them and I picked the best shots from the album in Facebook. Best shots simply mean the ones that do not seem obscene? In short, at least we will look good in those shots!

Trying to take a decent shot with her phone, it's hard you see.

I'm trying to think of a way to get this standing poster. Hmmmm. Will they sell when the promotion of this phone is over? But, my brother will definitely have an issue with me for bringing it home.

As expected, we took a shot with Oppa Min Ho.

Countless shots using this lady's laptop.

I think it's senseless. The photographs look real good in her phone's screen. Yet, now...

I've big head and she has big big big face. See the difference?

Oh yeah, I was wearing a shorts in there. Please. In case you think it's a bloody short dress.

We are very good friends since primary school days. To be frank, we had certainly witnessed so much changes in each other's lives.

I'd been thinking on whitening my elbow. Hmmmm. My elbows are particularly dark-toned?

One best thing about hanging out with this girl is the fact that no matter how artificial I looked, how superficial I spoke, I was always enjoying myself. This is how comfortable it gets when you're around with someone close to your heart. It's a kind of mature friendship which we do not have to contact/ text every single day to keep it going. We all have our own lives to lead, but just remember that we are pillars for each other at the end of the day! I know you'll be reading my blog when you're so bloody bored in class! Supper soon okay! And, I'm booking you for Breaking dawn this time round though it might not be worth it.

I took approximately 40 minutes for this post and it's really a waste of my time! I smells like salted fish, I swear I have to shower now. I have tons of work to complete and using the net is utterly out of my mind. Won't be back too soon, tumblr still!

// Hi, Park.

2010-07-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

Please click on my advertisements if they appear! I promise I'll love you for that small favor!

Big sister and me. I prefer a plain black camera though. Or maybe one with bling bling!

I think I look gross few months back, with that thick fringe. But the main character is Granny!

It's called Kitty, Chihuahua. My sister's pet dog.

And Kitty is not interested in photography at all.

Sometimes, I do love my sister's camera.

And yes, these are photographs that my sister owed me previously. Finally, I got them from Facebook and posted it up here. I'm thinking of changing my skin back to the pink one, looks nicer. This is too plain for me I think? Watched Twilight Saga: Eclipse with one of my favourite girls, Vyennus. The first is always the best, I mean Twilight movie. I think there are too much conversations in there and very much too draggy? The kiss scenes can compensate with these flaws huh! Jasper and Alice looked perfect as a couple. So, where's my Jasper?!

By the way, we took 120 photographs altogether and I really have no idea whether should I post them all up. Headed to Irfan's place for Soccer match with her. I think I'm more interested in Wrestling and I nearly dozed off. We got a free ride home by Irfan's brother too during Half-time.

I'm waiting for my brother to be back from overseas again! He promised me an iPhone when he's back. At times, I really think that he's one of the best brothers one can have. How could he possibly tolerate with such a fickle-minded sister? So I made up my mind, I'll save up for braces all by myself and not ask him for anything anymore, at least till the end of 2010.

// As promised.

2010-07-05T00:27:00.000-07:00

(Photo credits all to Hasif Ifran)

Oh yeahhhhhh, that's what I promised before I closed down my site right? The dishes I whipped up during my practical examination. Don't be astounded, it's all by Chef Park! Chef Park is me by the way. Going to look for Cousin Lavigne (that's real disgusting) for help in chinese oral! And I have math tuition too. I really hope Peter can joke around again, make my day soon! This is Youth day. Cool huh?

My brother made me his signature soup again, so spicy this time. I have sexy fat lips now, no need for plastic surgery anymore. *pout lips

// Much of an insane kid

2010-07-03T21:09:00.000-07:00

Hold your laughter please. I was browsing through the archive of my private blog and I found this:

April 17, 2010.
I've decided. You'll be the boy whom I'll go gaga over, you'll be my favourite boy for once and for all. Your smiles would be like stars in the sky, that eye-catching. You'll be my something, you'll be the boyfriend that holds me the longest. I'll be crying on your shoulders, sleeping on your lap, holding your big hands, cuddling in your arms, sharing drinks with you, stealing food from you, watching any movie you love with you, sharing the smallest umbrella with you in a terrible big rain, hiding under the blanket together with you when the wind comes, giving you a big bear hug when you're at your lowest, trying on different clothes and let you comment, getting the same tattoo together, wearing your teeshirts, doing medicure for you, filing your nails for you, draw 'i love you' on your textbooks, paste sticknotes everywhere you can see, appear out of the blue and say 'i miss you'.
So much to list out, so much to do, so much I want in our relationship, so much, my love for you is so much. Is yours that much too? :)

// Okay, I think I'm very much in love and obsessed. Didn't even know that I can come up with such imaginative craps. Now, I think Augustina Park is pretty romantic. But wait, just don't laugh/ I too am very embarrassed of what I've posted up in there. Oh man..........................

Don't be too surprised. Yes, I'm a Twilight Fan too! I read the books before going to the movie okay! And yes, catching this pretty soon with my childhood bestie, Vyennus. We cancelled today's date as it was her mom's big day. Got a chance to wish her Happy Birthday through text message. Shall give her a big big big grin when I see her in the neighbourhood! Happy birthday, Vyennus's Mommy. This would probably be the last movie I'm catching for the year? I feel pathetic too.

// REFRESH

2010-07-02T04:53:00.000-07:00

(// Some of those from the class barbeque)

Oh yeah, I'm still alive and kicking. This week is totally disastrous, having to wake up on time when my sleeping schedule was already screwed up is really a torture. I know, many might already know what went wrong and why I closed my site down for nearly 3 weeks? It's the fall-out-of-love season! How can I be out of this occasion man? I will be back with photographs from my class barbeque and Sister's place. Wait till that oh-so-damn-busy woman send me the rest of the photographs first. I'm going for a shower and rushing out to meet the rest! Well, I'm already late, guess I will take my own sweet time in the end. And, hang out @ my tumblr. I really love posting stuffs up there. Inspirations are great. Daily inspirations are perfect.

Know what? I read through some of the past posts, they are utterly boring. I mean, I won't blog like this anymore. All of them sounded senseless, some even said I was crazy for love. I'm just (very)passionate when I hit the one I really love.

You're still here somehow.

2010-06-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

"If you want the rainbow, then jolly well put up with the rain."

When I was reading the newspapers today, I was mumbling the contents to my mom and flipping on and on. Seriously, I didn't expect her to tell me that one of the latest news: death of the 4-year-old little girl, is actually the only daughter of this auntie who lives in our neighbourhood. Although I have seriously no idea who they were, but I feel kinda a pity and perturbed by this piece of depressing news. I know you must be thinking that I'm really nosy and that's really none of my business in any sense. But I could literally see and feel how vulnerable a life could be. Suddenly, it makes me look around me and start to reflect on things that I'd been taking for granted on. As compared to the past, I think I'm not as much of a spoilt brat already. Ever since my beloved Granny moved to my cousin's apartment which is totally so far away, I started to get used to having nobody to talk to and living in an almost-deserted house. But of course, it's not as dramatic as completely no contact with her. I do ring her up when I'm on my way home from school daily. The conversation can last up to really long, an hour or more. But still, I prefer talking to her face-to-face and holding her wrinkled and trembling pair of hands. I feel really blessed with her in my sight, she's almost like the most indispensable person in my life. Well, she's no longer living with me and every visit to my cousin's house is so damn precious for me. And it's really hard to make time out on weekly basis, no excuse seriously. Btw, I'd never experience loss of a close kin in my whole 16 years on Earth so I really can't empathise with those devastating feelings. Rest in peace, Little girl.
Overall, I realised how things have changed for me in my life, I somehow learnt something out of it. It's afterall a paradox you know. Sometimes when you have everything, you feel like you have nothing at all. This feeling is unexplainable, abit of no logic thinking. *Laugh
So, I guess it's time to cherish what I possess and love life. But first, loving myself will be the outmost important task for now. There are many things I still can't get over with, but life would still go on. Changes are inevitable whether you like them or not.

My eye candy.

2010-06-13T22:33:00.000-07:00

I never had flu, till yesterday. And, throat inflammation. This is bad! Should I see a doctor for such minor illness? Btw, I learnt a lesson, never share water bottle with anyone especially if the person is sick. I'm really dumb enough to do that. Oh yes, I gained back the 3 kilograms. Looks like I lose and gain weight easily, is it good or it is bad?

I guess I need plenty of water, plenty of rest and plenty of love. *Laugh
Till then xoxo.

(almost everything I found in Tumblr is so true.)

I want forever, you?

2010-06-12T22:31:00.000-07:00

// Inspirations you can get from tumblr:

We need to forgive ourselves for all the things we did, and for what we should have done. We can’t keep dwelling on the regrets of what should have happened; it’d kill us inside out.
(via runawaytrain@tumblr)

I want to make full use of the holidays. I want to leave this space, I want to stop facebooking and perhaps tumblr-ing too. I need a break from this world. Everything is somewhat killing me. I think I'm falling sick too. And what astounded me the most is my weight, I actually lost 3 full kilograms. I yearn to gain weight man! These are some of the dull happenings in my current life, how about you?

I have alot of stuffs to tell you but I don't know how to start. I prepared alot to say but yet nothing came out. I wanted to say but I just could not get the right timing. Eventually, I remained silent and did not breathe a word about it. Perhaps girls are just capable of pondering too much, worrying too much and overreacting too much. Or maybe it's just me, catalogue of faults. Sometimes, wanting you happy is way more important than just wanting you. You know what I mean? I just couldn't help it, damn.... I know I'm wilful at times....

Learn in the harsh way.

2010-06-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

To whom it concerns:
Let me soar as much as I can. I'll be back by your side when I am done, I promise.

// Life is fairly good.

2010-06-08T03:23:00.000-07:00

'Sometimes we leave because we really want to stay.' (via runawaytrain@tumblr)

I think it's time to shop for new clothes and a new hairdo.

I think I'm in love with tumblr, it's great to blog there too. Maybe blogger is just for my photographs.

Completed my 'o' levels food and nutrition practical examination! Photographs aren't with me yet but I guess when I get hold of it, I'll post it up here. They are definitely appealing, if not I won't post! Everything went smoothly as planned except for the last part, which was when I misused the blender. The smoothie which was really 'awwww, looks good' went splashing on me. It's just like a volcano erupting, I'm serious. I'd to clear the mess with a pathetic old cloth and my hands. That was a side dish, an additional drink so yeah, it's afterall fine that I redo.
// I've got great classmates to finish up my dishes, *grins. I think my boy likes the cheesecake and herb-crusted cod fish too. :>

Power nap and night-study later on. My muscles are aching, guess I'm not a housewife material! I'll never want to cook like today again, really. But wait, body massage for me please! Anyone? Heh.

In case you miss me.

2010-06-04T23:45:00.000-07:00

Www.fuckyeahcombative.tumblr.com/ (My tumblr blog)

Miracle! I could transfer my oh-so-long-ago photographs into my laptop. But I just could not locate the wild wild wet ones. Sorry girls! I'll try and see how.

The photographs with side fringe were way back, before I had my haircut.

I'm off to get my stuffs for my fnn practical examination! I gonna go alone yeah! Tranquility please. I'll stay cool this tuesday. If I succeed, my boy can have cheesecake!

My favourite girl!

Threesome!

I think I look haggard with long side fringe. But I got it cut already!

Short and sweet.

2010-06-02T07:32:00.000-07:00

I'll be back to blogger soon. Tumblr first k!
And, Food and Nutrition Practical Examination is coming! :o

A new one.

2010-05-31T00:13:00.000-07:00

I prefer this, http://www.fuckyeahcombative.tumblr.com/
It's my new blog, somewhere I'll blog often. At least much more than here.

Started.

2010-05-30T04:25:00.000-07:00

Once and for all.

2010-05-27T04:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't know that that meant so much to all my love ones. Btw I've decided to ask my brother to lock my laptop which means, No More Internet.
Let's bid farewell, Goodbye.

Jay Chou.

2010-05-26T05:47:00.000-07:00

So much to say, but this is not the place to do so. I'm leaving this space, I need the time for things that are more important.

Wordless.

2010-05-24T23:38:00.000-07:00

OK.

One by one.

2010-05-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

Things have changed.

Btw, this is for a very special friend in my life, Sanba:
I didn't intend to be so emotional, and I thought I could take things easy and respect your choice because it's definitely a much more beneficial and serious one. From the very start, I must admit this fact, that I guarded my heart very very much so that I won't get into those same bloody situations like I did before/ any agonising issues again in my should-be-peaceful life. But yes, I failed as I found myself kinda weeping over your soon departure. Thankyou for everything you gave. I could still remember vividly, the time when I was having my worst menstrual cramps and you came with the expensive chocolates though I hate eating chocolates, the moments when you passed by my working place and shouted 'Sanba', the heart-to-heart chat in class when you told me exactly what should I do for my r/s and hit the nail for my full (very complicated) personality. I appreciates your frankness that I would never possess, I looks up to your all-day bubbly character trait, I envy your boldness for everything (dressing, disagreements in things) in your life. I recalled the time when Zhaoyi and me were giving you a Birthday surprise and ended up getting a shock ourselves instead. Laughs. Now that I'm typing all this, my tearducts start to act uncontrollably. I will restrain myself from crumbling, I will survive even with your absence. Like you said, we will work together emotionally even though we are going seperate ways. Our paths are clear, the goals are definite, our minds are no longer scattered. I'm sincerely wishing you all the best for your further days on your own. It'll be a right choice and our sacrifices would be worth it. I will definitely wipe out my tears and start the new chapter by myself.

I foresee us celebrating for our success, what about you? People do come and leave your life anytime, right?

Everyone is lovesick, isn't it?

2010-05-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

// Can you miss someone too much?
I'm not dead yet. Currently @ Zahidah's house using free internet! So much better than using at the internet cafe, have to remain silent throughout. Brother forgotten to pay the internet bill and went overseas! Okay, I think I can concentrate better w/o the net right!

I didn't have a chance to tell you that: I wasn't feeling good without you too.

End of time.

2010-05-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

I could still remember, who am I supposed to watch Titanic with.

Mad cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

2010-05-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

// Was hopping thru blogs in Tumblr and yes I found this very special and adorable one! Please note, it's all self-made by the blogger!
I bet every guy love sucha girl with insane talent right!
Here you go: http://www.happymonsters.tumblr.com

Wait,

\\ Not going to blog till tuesday or so.

My heart's best friend.

2010-05-14T20:36:00.001-07:00

Well, should I just dump my phone away?

Btw, I realised that it's really the time to stop missing people/ pretty little things in your life. Missing them makes you gloomy when it's an obvious fact that they won't be back in the same way again. Memories seriously suckzx. When you come upon certain places/ things, it reminds you of what you did previously with that special someone/ any incident. I wish I have a 'delete' button. I no longer wish to think about those people, regardless it's good/ bad ones. These memories stop you from what you are doing, obstruct you like an obstacle. People have too much wants, they cannot stop for too long. I no longer wish to live in the past, that dreadful past. Just let me off, don't ever ask me about anything that you know I hate to answer. I'm happy with my current life, with what I have and what I'm trying to get. Please stop holding me back, nothing will be back, I swear to keep the memories in a safe corner of my heart. But it's still not the time to reminisce yet. I'm seriously feeling tiresome to remind and guard my heart. Sucha paradox, damn.

(I'll start eating anyway.)

What do you take me as?

2010-05-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor today and I was astounded. I wanted to consult the doctor for the reason why I'm always feeling breathless, for like a month or so?

Here is the conversation between the doctor and me:
Doctor: Anything wrong with you?
Me: I'd been feeling breathless these days.
Doctor: How long did you notice this sign?
Me: More than a month I guess?
Doctor: Did you do anything that led to this?
Me: I don't think so........ But I could literally feel that.
Doctor: What do you normally do and you feel breathless?
Me: After I climb the stairs? It's not those long flight of stairs or running up them btw.
Doctor: How many levels do you climb and you feel that way?
Me: 2-3 levels._.
Doctor: What else would you feel after which?
Me: I need a very long time to feel normal, to breathe normally.
Doctor: Show me your palm.
Me: *Held out my palm, just a normal white/ pale looking one.
Doctor: *Took out his palm, comparing.
Me: What's wrong with mine? I have fair skin right?
Doctor: -.- You don't have enough red blood cells. Yours is so pale.
Me: Oh............................. Okay.
Doctor: *Requested for my mom.
Doctor: Auntie, your daughter don't eat alot normally?
Mom: Yeah. She always fall asleep before I'm back with her lunch. And, she don't eat much during exam periods?
Doctor: I want to look at your tummy.

After which, he decided to give me vitamin pills/ pills rich in Iron for a month consumption. But, I can't swallow those big pills and it cannot be cut!
What should I do?!!!!!

// I can't speak.

2010-05-13T08:49:00.001-07:00

Should I leave for good?

Despicable outsider.

2010-05-13T05:38:00.000-07:00

Save your words. Stop wrecking my relationship. Save your efforts. You've a bad heart, and I think you should just go and reflect about it. I used to be susceptible to people's comments and get influenced very easily by other's advices and thoughts. But wait, it's a freaking 19 months of enduring love for my boy. Do you think what you'd said matters? Or do you even think I'll let my heart waver for the nonsense you had always spouted and thoughts you are inculcating into me?
Well, I would say that you think too highly of yourself. You're definitely not a true and nice friend I would want to keep by my side. I mean, I don't mind losing sucha friend. I'm just waiting for a chance to say this into your face. Just wait. Btw, I'm warning you to keep a distance from me/ maybe us too. And I know you'll be reading this.

// I just don't want to sound like some crude ladies so I did not include any words that sound offending/ vulgars.

Let me cure you.

2010-05-12T06:17:00.000-07:00

Few more papers to go, I'll endure and be back here soon. Tons of photographs in my phone!

If only things are that easy to possess, to solve.................................................................................

(Btw, thx for those who left your advices/ words in my formspring.)

An Alluring Lady.

2010-05-10T03:30:00.000-07:00

Angelababy is so beautiful that it makes me wanna cry!

Okay, I think I'm saving up for plastic surgery!

So sweet back then.

2010-05-09T05:06:00.000-07:00

Tell her that you love her. You’ve got nothing to lose, and you’ll always regret it if you don’t.

— Love Actually

Oppaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

2010-05-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Oppa!

Never felt this way before.

2010-05-07T01:20:00.000-07:00

Oh My God!
Http://www.fyeahbigbang.tumblr.com